Letter to General Council on Finance and Administration

Dear General Council on Finance and Administration,

We received with joy word of your October 21, 2013 decision to extend benefits to “same-sex spouses” and “civil spouses.” We rejoice that the restraining effect of ¶ 806.9 in the 2012 Book of Discipline finally met real life with recent state and federal decisions regarding marriage and the reality of shifts in employment practices.

For our agencies to provide the best possible support for ministries of the United Methodist Church, from local congregations to international mission, they need to hire and support those gifted and called for particular ministry needs. These people are single and they are partnered. Those who are partnered will be in a range of relationships. When formal commitments are made and yet benefits are restricted, we not only limit the pool of the best possible employees, we diminish our witness to the inclusive love of the gospel of Christ by revealing categorical discrimination against Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer people within the life of our church.

Thank you for caring for the life of the General Agencies and the lives of LGBTQ people through an extension of partner benefits.
At the same time, the restraining effects of discriminatory legislation are ongoing, affecting the lives of individuals, families, congregations, and the very mission of our church to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. Now that you have disclosed your assessment of the organizational needs of the church, we point to a need for additional disclosure about how the financial restrictions based on the notion of “incompatibility” impact other resources and the vitality of our ministries.

There are numerous effects. More and more people are divesting from the church because of the ongoing discrimination towards LGBTQ people. More and more people are walking out the doors, taking with them their prayers, presents, gifts, service and witness. The financial restrictions related to sexual orientation limit education about healthy sexuality and the church’s ability to minister to all God’s people.

We urge the General Council on Finance and Administration to assess and disclose where else you see negative results from continuing the current financial restrictions in the Book of Discipline. If you see effects on the lives of individuals and ministries beyond General Agencies, we urge you to speak to the church about this before General Conference 2016 so appropriate changes can be made.

It is time to pull back the curtain on the effect of intentional discrimination within the church—Disclose it. Failing to do so is to be complicit in continuing the discrimination.

In expectation,
Rev. Amy DeLong
Laci Adams
Alison Wisneski
Rev. Dr. Julie Todd
Laura Ralston
Dr. Mary Lou Taylor
Brenda Smith White
Rev. Wesley White
Mary Anne Balmer

Join Love Prevails in a Day of Dismay


Join Rev. Amy DeLong and the Love Prevails team as we gather at the United Methodist Council of Bishops’ meeting to express our dismay at the Bishops’ abdication of their role as prophetic leaders and their recent admonition of Bishop Melvin Talbert who courageously performed the wedding ceremony of two faithful gay men.

The Love Prevails team will create signs at 10 am for a witness during the 10:45 am session that is open to the public.


Alison Wisneski

As two gay people living separately in the Midwest, we weren’t doing a lot.

As two gay people living together in Colorado, we’re trying to do more.

Betsy and I received a civil union at our church, First United Methodist Church of Boulder, on the first day of autumn – September 22. Our pastors apologized for the harmful and hurtful ways the United Methodist Church treats LGBTQ persons. They said that people called us “biblically disobedient,” to which they challenged that no, we were absolutely biblically obedient. What we were doing was “Ecclesiastically disobedient.” We liked that. A lot.


Pastors Pat Bruns and Joe Agne sign the civil union document, while Alison, Betsy, and witness Preston Vaughn look on

We were the first same-sex couple to receive a civil union inside of the sanctuary of FUMC, and we are so proud and so honored. Last Easter, our pastors wrote a statement saying they were going to begin to perform unions to couples who asked, and it was signed by over 300 people. As two people who signed it, we were lucky enough to see our dreams become reality.

Betsy and I are pretty different when it comes to levels of our openness. I scored nearly full extrovert on the Myers-Briggs scale, while Betsy was the perfect center of introvert and extrovert. She wanted a small, simple ceremony with just the pastors. I wanted to livestream it on the Love Prevails site. We found the perfect middle (as we always do) in this blog and with some photos. We’re disrupting on a level that we’re both comfortable with.


First United Methodist Church of Boulder’s first civil union performed in the sanctuary

We made it an open invitation for the church to come. This is a church that became reconciling 16 years ago and lost members who believed that FUMC was breaking the outdated, non-inclusive language code of the UM Book of Discipline, stating that our sexuality was incompatible with Jesus’ teachings. Betsy and I often joke that we believe Jesus would totally hang out with us. The Jesus we know, love, and follow would have been sitting somewhere in the pews on Sunday. Chances are, the Jesus we know would have been laughing and crying right along with us. We saw Jesus in the faces of the people who attended. The faces of love, compassion, and hope for our relationship and for relationships to come that are LGBTQ-identified and Methodist. Being both gay and Methodist can coincide in harmony, just like an extrovert and a semi-introvert can.


Julie Todd

I’ve never ceased to be amazed how hateful the anti-gay and anti-trans sentiments and actions of the United Methodist Church really are. At every General Conference I attended until 2012, and in the implementation of the church’s policies every year in between, the situation for queer people and their allies only got worse. No matter what we did – write letters, sign statements, tell stories, pray, craft legislation – it only got worse. Yet while the hateful speech and discrimination, persecution and prosecution of gay people and their allies continued unabated, for the first time since 1972, the church at GC 2012 in Tampa didn’t codify more prohibitions and penalties in the Book of Discipline.

There is a reason for this: we so significantly disrupted the GC that they could not carry on with business as usual. After the “agree to disagree” legislative compromise failed for the fourth GC in a row, the Love Your Neighbor Coalition executed a witness in which volunteers and delegates broke the bar and entered the plenary floor. We offered communion. During this action, the bishop called a recess of the conference. When communion was over, the Coalition planned to leave the floor. Love Prevails members decided to stay. The rules of the GC would prevent reconvening if non-delegates remained. Dozens stayed and we sang. We sang for three hours. Ultimately, bishops and conference organizers negotiated with us to attend a meeting with the Calendar Committee, where a representative group of UM leaders agreed to effectively bury all matters on sexual orientation and gender identity at the end of the agenda, preventing them from coming up. This was an ambiguous solution. We do not promote not dealing with GLBTQ oppression as a way of resolving injustice. But it seemed better that the BoD not change than to make it worse.

This is the bottom line: we disrupted the normal business of the Conference to such a degree that they had to negotiate with us to stop the clearly approaching anti-gay legislative train-wreck. We were willing and open to creatively engage in disruption, and we seized the moment when it arrived. And we had an impact. In 2016, we will be there, ready with new acts of creative disruption.

Julie Todd is an elder in the New England Conference. She is Affiliate Faculty for Justice and Peace Studies at the Iliff School of Theology.


Peter Harmon

I have lobbied on behalf of libraries in our state for just over 40 years now.  I have experienced many failures, but at least a few notable successes, and if nothing else, this experience has taught me some things about the legislative process that may be of use concerning GLBT issues.

First off, I believe that most legislators are motivated by three primary factors.  The most important of these is lining up votes and getting re-elected,  Next comes raising campaign funds.  Last, and unfortunately least, is doing what they believe to be the right thing.

This is especially unfortunate because GLBT rights, which are at base human rights, are the right thing.  Our arguments are strong and persuasive, so I think that we usually have this base fairly well covered. Unfortunately that leaves votes and campaign funds to decide the issue, and that seems to be where we most often lose.  Few of us can compete with wealth of the Koch brothers or the Church of Latter Day Saints, so that leaves us with the issue of votes as single hook upon which we can hang our best hopes of success.

Fortunately, there are a lot of ways to deal with legislators to make our case in that regard.  Here are a few.

First, the mass approach:  Flood your capitol with supporters.  When the issue of concealed carry came before our legislature, hundreds of supporters packed the halls and galleries – and made no secret of the fact that their votes would follow only what they considered to be a favorable response.  Nothing concerning this issue happened in the days and weeks that followed without those who favored this law in attendance.  Rallies were held through out the state.  Legislators felt that their jobs were threatened, and even many of those who had opposed concealed carry in the past caved in.  I didn’t agree with the issue, but I had to admire the tactics.  I should also point out that those of us who call ourselves allies all too often leave the heavy lifting to the GLBT community.  That won’t work for a mass approach.  All of us are needed, and especially our votes!

Second, the personal appeal:  Your own vote is important, doubly so if you are known to be politically active.  The most successful way to affect a legislator is to develop a personal relationship.  If the individual in question is a personal friend or a friend of someone you know and can mobilize, so much the better.  But another path is to attend fundraisers (there are some cheap ones out there) and work on campaigns.  Participating in a literature drop takes a few hours, but the possible dividends in appreciation are large.  Beyond this make the effort to get to personally know your legislator.  Visit his or her office and take your friends along,  And don’t just discuss your issues.  Take a little time to discover what is important to that elected official.  Do you have common ground?  Can you at least agree to disagree and establish a relationshiip of mutual respect?  And here a caveat.  Many legislators listen only to their own constituents.  Don’t depend on few concerned citizens to do the whole job for you.  It takes somebody from every district to carry the ball.

Beyond visits, it is important to keep up a flow of information.  Phone calls can be successful, but usually only if you have a personal relationship already.  This leave us with written communication.   Oddly enough, I have been told many times over the years that the best way to convince is with a hand written letter.  They take both time and commitment to write, and legislators don’t get many, so they are accordingly prized.  Next comes a typed letter.  Easier to do, but less personal and marginally less effective.  Then we turn to electronics.  Email, messages left on a legislator’s web page, facebook page, hotline, etc.  Mostly these are just stacked up and counted, to see where the voters are going today.  A further caveat.  If you cannot say what you have to say on two sides of one sheet of paper (and one side is better), it probably will never be read.  Legislators are busy.  Also, don’t overlook staff.  They have much more effect on decisions than you might think, and a personal relationship with a key legislative staff member is often as valuable as one with a legislator.

If the GLBT population is 10% of the whole, that leaves 90% of the rest of us.  As far as I can see, that means all those of us who call ourselves allies represent the mass required to get the job done.  So let’s buckle down and change the world.  It’s time!