Being Knit Together
When I think about that time
it is simply a black hole of depression
with flashes of white light and sharp pain.
The white light of another hit from the system
and the sharp pain of long term friends and family
moving away and shunning me.
When I spoke my truth out loud
I became a loose cannon,
too dangerous to be associated with or trusted.
When forward thinking progressive folks
tell me the Holy is no longer active,
or I am in a phase I need to outgrow,
I realize that they have never been
sent into the lion’s den,
thrown into the fiery furnace
or called to be a lesbian clergy person
in the United Methodist Church.
Thanks be to the Holy
has always been, is now and always will be
holding me in Her ever-loving arms.
Arms that are strong enough for anything
and kind and gentle enough for everything.
Earlier this week I came across the web site
They are naming the disconnect
between what is said in
the Book of Discipline and the Bible.
They also have a list of
Principled Leaders Lost.
Among the wonderful, powerful people listed
I found my name.
I am so honored to be included among these folks.
I am remembered.
When I spoke my truth at the Listening Post
and therefore chose to turn in my orders,
I was heard.
What I did made enough difference
to be remembered.
I had thought this wound could never be healed.
Yet now, El Roi, the God who sees,
the Holy who met Hagar in the desert,
has also met me in the sacred Arizona desert.
She is gathering in the remaining loose strands
and knitting me together.
I can stand tall and proud
of the time I spoke my truth
in a way that is still remembered
twenty three years later.
I give thanks to the Holy
for continuing to knit me together
in unexpected ways.
Thanksgiving morning 2013.