GOING MAD
by Julie Todd (Written for General Conference 2008)

I recently finished reading
a christian ethicist
Who
after a long and depressing
Analysis
of the state of the world
& oppression of the masses,
further unbelieving in
the capacity of institutions
to change w/out coercion
Writes in the last paragraph of this work
“…justice cannot be approximated
if the hope of its perfect realization
does not generate A SUBLIME MADNESS
in the soul.
NOTHING BUT SUCH MADNESS
Will do battle
With malignant power
and‘spiritual wickedness in high places.”

So.
I’ve decided
to GO MAD,
SUBLIMELY MAD
Yes, I’m going MAD
to General Conference

I will stand in line behind
so many women
who people thought were MAD
Witches
Suffragists
Preachers
WILD women
so moved by their communities
so resistant to the powers that be
so knowledgeable of their own power
so present in their bodies
so fundamentally themselves
that people considered them a threat
& called them
MAD, CRAZY, HYSTERICAL, INSANE

I mean
How mad is it?
to senselessly hope for change?
to be carried away by my foolish belief in the gospel?
to be totally infatuated with a desire for justice?
to be moved by a vision a insane egalitarianism?
marked by a wild abandon and gaiety in the face of hate?
Madness, some say,
is a form of ecstasy
& so I am ecstatic
w/ the thought of resistance
that they haven’t robbed me of my spirit
or my joy
in all these years
& they will not
b/c I’m MAD.
How crazy is all that?
“…justice cannot be approximated
if the hope of its perfect realization
does not generate A SUBLIME MADNESS
in the soul.
NOTHING BUT SUCH MADNESS
Will do battle…”

There is crazy MAD &
There is angry MAD
& I have no fear of either.
I am also going to General Conference MAD,
& by this I mean angry.
MAD about so many things, I mean
I don’t think I have to make a list for you
Everyone, I’m sure, has their own list of what makes us MAD
But here’s an example:
I’m MAD about the bishops’ letter “What God Expects of Us” –
In this, holy conferencing means:
Compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, love, peace
“be patient, be respectful, be careful”
In other words, don’t get MAD.
It’s bad for unity.
Don’t get me wrong,
I’m all for love and kindness and so on,
but not as a cloak for the status quo remaining the status quo,
not at the cost of human lives,
not at the cost of justice.
nobody better tell me not to get MAD
w/ some crap about good Christians not getting angry
or laying some ‘fruits of the spirit’ business on me
as if my MADNESS were not somehow warranted
or even holy.

There is nothing wrong with being MAD.
“…justice cannot be approximated
if the hope of its perfect realization
does not generate A SUBLIME MADNESS
in the soul.
NOTHING BUT SUCH MADNESS
Will do battle…”